did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
