i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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