I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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