So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
