My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
