Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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