I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you didnt know i had herpes?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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