this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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