With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
