If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
