He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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