I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
