we have officially lost it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
