we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
