It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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