it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
