3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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