I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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