Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
