Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
