census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm like, not good at living.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
