I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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