can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
