But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
