roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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