Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
