me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
