ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her vagine was all disorganized.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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