I'm so fucking centered right now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize