Michael Bay diarrhea
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
