so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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