I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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