this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
