accomplished twins. life is a go
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
