omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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