Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
