i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
