How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
