I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
