A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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