just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
