Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm getting married
To pizza
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
