you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
