So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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