Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
