he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
