His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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