I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
