wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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