Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
