Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
