Kiss
Puke
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
